Divorce can be all-consuming. Even if you and your ex-spouse are parting amicably, the divorce process can be draining and emotionally frustrating for everyone involved. From organizing how you’ll divide your finances, to deciding who gets the house, to trying to maintain a positive relationship with one another, your kids, and your shared family members, friends, and communities – divorce can feel like a never-ending state of being.
When you find yourself on the other side of your divorce, you might feel empty. Even if you feel confident that this was the right decision for you, your ex-spouse, and your family, it doesn’t make this transitional time any less challenging. One problem I hear repeated among my clients who have gone through divorce is that it can feel like you’re not sure who you are anymore as a newly single woman.
As you’ve gone through your divorce, you may have imagined this moment. You may have pictured yourself, after the proceedings are over, starting a new life for yourself, and feeling empowered as you did it. But you may not have imagined the sense of aimlessness or the loss of identity that can be associated with divorce. Luckily, this time doesn’t have to last for forever. Taking intentional steps to explore new hobbies and interests during this season of change can help you to feel like you’re in control, and stronger than ever.
Think Through Your Pre-Divorce Life
How did you spend your time before your divorce?
Although this might be a somewhat painful idea to explore, it’s worth it. You might be surprised to find that your identity was largely wrapped up in your relationship, or your family. But think harder – what did you do that was just for you? Does anything come to mind?
If it does – jot down these ideas. Now might be the time to explore these interests further in this new chapter of your life.
If not – that’s okay, too. You’ll still be able to find the confidence and peace of mind that comes with knowing who you are, and what you love to do, even if it feels like you’re starting over right now.
Prioritize Self Care and Self Exploration
As you go through this new phase of your life, it’s important that you take the time to get to know yourself, and to take care of you. Self care after a divorce may look like many different activities. Some ideas might be:
- Seeking the guidance of a trusted therapist or counselor
- Getting involved in your community of family or friends
- Taking time to focus on your needs during this chapter in your life
- Investing time and energy into the people and things you love
- Seeking to get connected to a spiritual or faith-based community that suits you
Self-exploration activities might look like:
- Trying new things – from hobbies to recipes
- Making decisions based on what you want
- Thinking carefully about your personality, and what makes you happy
- Involving yourself in hobbies and activities that bring you joy and balance
- Focusing on ways that you can create a new routine you love
- Creating a home space that you love
What Hobbies Make You Happy?
If you’re trying new hobbies out during this time, focus on what brings you joy – not on what you feel like you should be doing right now. It’s tempting to fall into the trap of doing what’s expected of you, but this is your time to rebuild your life, and knit your closest relationships with family and friends even closer.
Your wellbeing right now depends on you making the best decisions for you – and only you’re able to do that! So, even if you feel pressure from the outside world to do certain things or act a certain way, it’s okay to dismiss some of those recommendations in favor of the things you know are actually going to make you happy.
You might try out new hobbies and activities to see what “sticks” – or maybe you pick up an old hobby that you had let fall to the wayside during your marriage. Have kids? Get them involved, too! Connecting with your kids over a new and exciting hobby or family interest can help you to stay close and maneuver through this change together as a unit.
How Can Financial Life Planning Help?
Personally, I believe that financial planning is so much more than just creating a strategy for your money to help grow your wealth. Although that’s incredibly important, what’s even more important is creating a strategy for your money that helps grow your happiness, purpose, and fulfillment. This is an idea that’s loosely named “financial life planning.” Together with my clients, I help them to build a financial plan that allows them to pursue their hobbies and interests, and to build an exceptional life for themselves right now as well as in the future.
Are you interested in learning more about how financial planning can help you during this chapter of your life? Request a call with me today. I’d be happy to talk with you.